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Sports Bar - July 2007

Sport Puns - Where did they come from?

July 30th 2007 06:21
Why is sport journalism plagued by puns? Where has this culture of bad jokes come from and why is it embedded in sport media? I certainly didn’t take pun class 101 at University, but the more sport coverage I digest the more I think that wisecracks are a precursor to gain employment in the industry. If so, my dad would have made the best sport journalist of them all.

I was left pondering this after I read an article in The Daily Telegraph labelled; ‘The Bermuda Pie-angle.’ This article had more to do with bad fat jokes than real journalism; in fact it actually took two writers to come up with that many awful gags. Somebody had a lot of fun writing this article, I have counted at least 14 puns or fat jokes in the short piece.

Absolutely Flabulous

“As pies across St Vincent scrambled for cover, "Loverock" had England's middle order for, well, breakfast…”

Granted, sport journalism can be a little more light hearted than other world events, but still, why is the role of the sport media (especially tabloid aka Sports Tonight, Tele, etc.) to be king of the dags? I’m not having a go here, some of the times the jokes aren’t that bad, but I am just querying where this culture came from?…

I admit that I too indulge in out punning my mates, on my old blog I had titles that read; “Squash-Buckling- Gilchrist has a ball”, “India Packer Punch” and “Mona-Sham” to name a few. Channel Nine and cricket combined not that long ago to bring what was literally a pun-competition, where fans were encouraged to bring signs to the grounds with witty slogans. In what was obviously an exercise in product placement, the light hearted competition was well received around Australia.


So, I have decided to start a pun watch, if you find any good puns please let me know and we’ll try to find the pun of the year. Already we have had titles such as; Cousins Comeback put on Ice, Lyonheart, Deves-Tait-ing, GoldCoast sink after Titan-ic struggle… etc…


To read the entire article on Bermuda’s loveable cricketer, click here...
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Bloody Dopes! The Tour crashes down to earth

July 27th 2007 05:59



Who’d have known that this massive crash would come to symbolise the dramatic scandals that have rocked the cycling world. The huge pile-up on only the 2nd stage of the tour bares remanence to the predicament cycling’s premier competition now finds itself in. There has always been heavy criticism and speculation about the integrity of the sport, with doping always a point of conjecture. Tour administrators were hoping that the demons of last year could be put to rest; this however has quite publicly blown up in their faces.

It started with Vinakourov (who went into the tour as favourite) testing positive for doping and his team promptly withdrawing from the event, now the yellow jersey leader Michael Rasumussen has been disgraced and dumped from the tour. The tour is reeling in a week that has seen two of its highest profile athletes dumped from the most prestigious competition in all of bike racing. There has always been a cloud of uncertainty that loomed over the event, however these two positive tests have rocked cycling to its very foundations. Fans and commentators alike are at a loss, how can we trust the tour? Are Rasmussen and Vinakourov the only two guilty of doping, or were they just unlucky enough to get caught?

The tour is one of the biggest events on the sporting calendar, perhaps not quite so big in Australia, but in Europe it is as big as it gets. The highly revered yellow jersey is a symbol of strength, determination and athleticism. It was obviously very symbolic on the back of
Pure Champion!
Lance Armstrong, a man who defied belief and captured the imagination of the entire world. His story was inspirational and proof that anything is possible. The man put simply was a freak and won the tour seven years in a row, do you think he was tested for all kinds of illegal substances and doping? OF course he was, there were always doubters; sceptics that said it was impossible for a man of his publicised background to achieve what he did. The man was tested and tested and was never found to have done anything wrong. He signified everything that was good and decent in cycling.

However, since his retirement in 2005, cycling has not been same. We still have no official winner of the 2006 Tour with Floyd Landis embroiled in a legal battle to prove his innocence of doping. Thus, this year’s Tour started with no carry-over-champion, there was no yellow jersey worn in the prologue – a reminder of the controversial finish a year previous. We have now had the yellow jersey leader spectacularly thrown out of the tour, how can it get any worse for cycling fans? How can we have any faith left in an already tainted sport?

The one positive to come out of all this chaos is the stance cycling is taking against dopers. They are not afraid to publicly vilify anyone that tests positive to banned substances. Whilst other sports have softer penalties and try to sweep the problem under the rug, cycling remains firm against the dilemma. There is no quarter given, nor should there be, it is the only way to deter cheats and the only way to stamp drugs out of sport. If you test positive for drugs; it’s on your bike mate!

Where does the Tour go from here?
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Could Twenty20 destroy cricket? The controversial new movement

July 25th 2007 06:41
Thirty years has past since Kerry Packer boldly and controversially revolutionised the game of cricket. Pyjama Cricket has come along way since its spectacular debut and has defied all of its critics. History has a funny habit of repeating itself and once again there is a daring movement to transform the game. It comes in the form of 20-20 cricket, a circus like event; once considered nothing more than a publicity stunt. Fans flocked to the phenomenon which saw cricket condensed into three hours of “exciting, non-stop, free-for-all entertainment.” Players treated it as a party; there was no pressure because the outcome was irrelevant, it allowed superstars like Andrew Symonds and Damien Martyn to really let loose in a reckless abandon fashion.

Entrepreneurs were quick to cash in on the latest craze intorducing national competitions, and adding more 20-20 internationals to the sporting calendar. The game was taking off whether the players wanted it to or not. Perhaps the most revealing insight into how teams were treating the new fad was the selection of Andrew Johns in the line up for the NSW Blues. Did they care about winning the competition, or did they care about how many fans they could attract through the gates?

Andrew Symonds has repeatedly stated that 20-20 should be left for what it is; a one off. He, like many fans and players believe that the popularity of the contests is due to the lack of pressure on players which allows them to express themselves freely. The carnival like approach also gives freedom to the media and permits players to be hooked up with microphones and directly connected to the commentators and viewers in their living rooms. Basically, the one-off games are a glorified slog-a-thon, something that appeals to a new breed of fans but disappoints purists and traditionalists.

With the brisk introduction of a 20-20 World Cup to be held later this year, there is much speculation and debate about the merit of such a format. With the catastrophic debacle of the 50-over World Cup earlier this year the ICC are desperate to wrestle back credibility. The competition was a complete shambles from beginning to its eventual conclusion which inevitably ended in utter chaos. The ICC is in damage control after hosting such a pathetically drawn-out competition dogged by poor organisation and endless controversy. It is hoped that hit-and-giggle format will bring reprieve to the besieged organisation. After-all it couldn’t possibly get any worse?

The Rebel League

India has very quickly become the power behind world cricket, but now there is a new organisation which threatens the Indian Cricket Board (BCCI). The amount of one-day internationals played in the modern game can largely be attributed to the subcontinent giants, but a new company ‘India Cricket League’ (ICL) has started a radical movement which is in direct competition and threatens the highly influential BCCI.

Lara; the latest to sign with ICL
This movement is very audacious and could have serious ramifications to the cricket fraternity. The proposed 20-20 league is already rumoured to have acquired recently retired greats like Brian Lara, Shane Warne, Damian Martin, Glenn McGrath and Inzamam-ul-Haq.

The problem, just like with Packer in the 70’s and the super league war in the late 90’s is that it creates a divide in the sporting world. If this venture takes off and is successful, what does that mean for Indian cricket, and thus world cricket? There is no denying the amount of money, sponsorship and interest India pours into the modern game, what will happen if its cricket board crumbles?

This is one of the more interesting movements in sport in recent memory and it will be interesting what ramifications if any will result from it. Where does 20-20 cricket belong? Have your say.
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Tour de France -The battle between Man, Machine and Mountain!

July 23rd 2007 06:22
Mountain Men; Rasmussen & Contador


The Tour de France has come alive with an intriguing mountain battle the likes of which we haven’t seen in many years. It was an enthralling tug-o-war between the real heavyweights of the tour. The 14th stage was punctuated by endless attacks and counterattacks designed to test even the sturdiest of legs.

Easily the toughest stage of the tour thus far, the 197km from Mazamet to Plateau de Beille showcased what the tour is really all about… the Pyrenees. They have to be the most feared mountains in all of cycling, they are long, steap and unforgiving. This is where the tour is won and lost; riding through hell and back.

Stage 14
Picture this; you have been riding solidly for the best part of two weeks, travelling around 200km per stage at an average of 45-50km an hour. It is roughly 5-6 hours in the saddle a day and this is considered the easy part of the tour. It is then that the cyclists arive at the mountain stages with insane inclines and death defying declines. Riders will actually hit speeds of 90 km an hour with nothing but a crash helmet to protect themselves.

This is now where the tour gets really interesting, the battle for the yellow jersey intensifies and only the strongest can survive. Last night was proof that these guys are indeed superhuman. After conquering Port de Pailheras (a monster mountain) at the 146km mark, a group of 10 riders approached the final climb of the day; a gruelling 15km of attack and counterattack towards the summit.

One by one the contenders were broken, cracked and started dropping back from the lead. This is how to win the tour, you attack on the mountains, and if it doesn’t work you recover and then attack again. All the usual suspects were there; the yellow jersey on the back of Rasmussen (a former king of the mountains) was setting the pace with Australian hopeful Cadel Evans hot on his heels. Kloden, Leiphemer and Contador were all competing as well, desperately trying to hold on.

Surge after surge, the group was broken and reformed, what was keeping these guys going? They must have been riding on sheer guts and courage alone at this point of such a difficult stage. Inevitably the attacks started to leave their mark until there was only two left; Rasmussen and Contador. Evans fought bravely but was finally shaken with 6km to go and has now slipped to 3rd overall in the race for the yellow jersey.

Contador won the sprint for the line and has now moved to 2nd in the overall classifications. The scary thing about all of this is that the toughest stage of the tour - boasting four incredible climbs is tonight. So we can expect Evans, Rasmussen and Contador do go through hell again in their quest for the most prestigious prize in all of cycling.

This is what the Tour de France is all about, an enthralling battle between man, machine and mountain.

Viva la Tour!
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WEST COAST vs SYDNEY; COUSINS RETURNS TO AFL'S GREATEST RIVALRY

July 20th 2007 04:40
Return of the fallen hero; Ben Cousins
All eyes will be on Ben Cousins this weekend with the disgraced superstar midfielder returning for the most anticipated match of the season. His battle with illicit drugs has been well publicised and is the reason he hasn’t played since the 2006 Grand Final. The return of the fallen hero has added even more interest to the era’s greatest rivalry. Paul Roos has labelled the super-showdown as the biggest game the two teams have played outside a grand-final.

A total of 13 points has separated the Swans and the Eagles in their past 6 clashes, with the last three ending within a heart-stopping point. Such is the closeness of these two great sides; their rivalry will surely go down in AFL folklore. They have played in consecutive Grand finals and turned on some of the most exhilarating finishes in finals history. Their rivalry has elevated stars on both sides to legendary status; Leo Barry’s mark in the dying seconds of the 2005 Grand final immortalized the Swans. That single leap will go down as one of the most memorable moments in AFL history. It catapulted a new era in AFL football and marked (no pun intended) the true arrival of a Sydney based team.

The Swans-Eagles blockbuster has been further boosted by the news Barry Hall and Tadhg Kennelley will play after both proved their fitness. It is a must-win game for both clubs with West Coast desperate to stop their downward spiral whilst Sydney are franticly trying to maintain their spot in the top 8. The ‘Bloods’ sit on 8th spot of the competition ladder, only percentage separates them from Adelaide and Essendon on 32 competition points. West Coast are currently in 4th spot, but only one win clear of the red and white army. Saturday nights clash is almost a final in itself, with a sold-out crowd expected to provide a euphoric atmosphere.

Each match the two clubs play is a new chapter in one of sports greatest rivalries. What role will Ben Cousins play in this thrilling spectacle? Will Barry Hall overcome his recent form slump? Can the match live up to all the hype? All these questions will be answered on Saturday night with the era’s most anticipated rivalry set to reunite old acquaintances.

The Line Ups;
WEST COAST v SYDNEY
Saturday, 5.40pm WST, Subiaco
WEST COAST
B: Brent Staker, Darren Glass, Adam Selwood
HB: Beau Waters, Adam Hunter, Brett Jones
C: Andrew Embley, Chris Judd, Michael Braun
HF: Daniel Chick, Ashley Hansen, Tyson Stenglein
F: Mark LeCras, Quinten Lynch, Mark Seaby
FOLL: Dean Cox, Ben Cousins, Daniel Kerr
I/C: Shannon Hurn, Rowan Jones, Matt Priddis, Matt Rosa
EMG: Steven Armstrong, Chad Fletcher, Eric Mackenzie
In: Ben Cousins, Ashley Hansen, Daniel Kerr, Brent Staker, Tyson Stenglein

SYDNEY
B: Ted Richards, Leo Barry, Sean Dempster
HB: Paul Bevan, Craig Bolton, Ben Mathews
C: Luke Ablett, Brett Kirk, Nick Malceski
HF: Ryan O’Keefe, Michael O’Loughlin, Adam Goodes
F: Adam Schneider, Barry Hall, Peter Everitt
FOLL: Darren Jolly, Jude Bolton, Nic Fosdike
I/C: Nick Davis, Tadhg Kennelly, Jarrad McVeigh, Tim Schmidt
EMG: Heath Grundy, Simon Phillips, Luke Vogels
No change
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Socceroos Vs Japan; Redemption and Revenge

July 18th 2007 03:25
Who could ever forget the Socceroos first match in the 2006 World Cup? The game will be forever etched in Australian sporting folklore. After a highly controversial goal gave Japan a 1-0 lead, the green and gold were forced to chase the game. For 80 minutes the Japanese held strong, that was until Tim Cahill turned in the ball from close range. The resistance had been broken, a famous goal for Australia, their first at a World Cup. What happened next is stuff of fairy tales, on the World’s grandest stage the Aussie’s remarkably scored twice more to win the game 3-1; ecstasy for the green and gold, sheer devastation for Japan. Australia had announced itself to the world; we belonged at this level and for the first time people actually believed.

The images of that game have been burnt into our memories, never to be forgotten. Japan have not forgotten it either and will be looking to exact revenge when the two teams meet on Saturday. The quarterfinal promises to be an absolute blockbuster. After two shambolic displays against Oman and Iraq, Australia were backed into a corner, needing to win by at least two goals against Thailand. The short-priced favourites for the tournament were finally spurred into action and found their feet in with a dramatic 4-0 victory


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Great night for Sports Fans

July 13th 2007 05:37
Socceroos in action tonight
What a night of sport we have lined up tonight! The weekend is upon us and we have a lot to look forward to. The NRL has a massive double header which should produce some exhilarating football, it’s 2nd vs 5th and 3rd vs 6th! The first game at 7.30 (Channel Nine) should be an absolute blockbuster with both Sea Eagles and Tigers in scintillating form. The Eagles demolished the Roosters last week with an emphatic 56-0 victory, whilst the Tigers remarkably overcame an early deficit against the Panthers to run out 43-26 winners. The game should provide a good yardstick to compare how the two teams are travelling leading into September. Both teams have been predicted to make the preliminary finals and it should be a really interesting match. The boys from Brookvale playing at home should be buoyed by Steve Menzies who announced that he will play on next season. The Tigers on the other hand will be trying to prove their coach wrong; who strangely declared that his side could not beat the silvertails.

The Second clash is just as enticing, the hotly contested Queensland derby. The match is already a sell-out, with Wayne Bennett claiming that Queensland is now officially the heartland of rugby league. The three teams north of the border equate for over 25% of all spectators through the turnstile this year. Proof that rugby league is indeed flourishing in the Sunshine state. The most interesting aspect of this clash is the battle of the halves. Arguably the two best players in the world today, Thurston and Lockyer have dominated the NRL at club, state of origin and international level. The winner of this intriguing battle will probably decide the outcome of the match and it should provide some fireworks


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Warne's Record about to fall

July 12th 2007 14:52
Spinning records
Muttiah Muralitharan will soon steamroll the world record for most test match wickets. The controversial Sri Lankan moved to 694 wickets overnight with another five-wicket haul against struggling minnows Bangladesh. Playing at his home ground Murali took 6-28 off 15 overs, bamboozling the hapless tigers.

With Sri Lanka touring Australia later this year, there is a real chance Shane Warne’s record of 708 test wickets will be taken on these shores. There is a certain amount of irony underlying this if it eventuates. Australia has always been a harsh place for Muralitharan to tour; it is where all the controversy started. The Sri-Lankan’s infamous run-in with Daryl Hair and the constant abuse and scrutiny he receives every time he is in this country. It got to a point where he actually refused to tour down-under ever again


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DIFFERENT KIND OF RABBIT

July 11th 2007 13:15
new image
New image
There are a meagre 4 points separating the 4th placed Eels from the 12th placed Rabbitohs, leading into round 18 of the NRL.

The famous green and red stripes are no longer an embarrassment to the league; they are an inspiration. A culture is building at the club, a culture that has been lacking for decades. It seems there is pride growing in the jersey and the tradition and history, it represents


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Marquee search for Sydney FC

July 10th 2007 05:34
Sydney FC is desperately seeking a player to fill the billing of marquee status. They have searched far and wide to find a ‘big-name’ player that will presumably bring in more sponsors, and more public interest. John Aloisi, Phillip Cocu, Teddy Sheringham and now latest link in the long line is Liverpool’s favourite son Robbie Fowler.

And why not? There is no doubting the positive effect ‘Dwight Yorke’ had in the inaugural season of the A-league. His presence generated huge interest and added something special to a league that needed to create a new image. After all; “this was soccer, but not as we knew it


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FEDERER WINS BATTLE FOR THE AGES

July 8th 2007 17:46
Rivalry for the ages
Roger Federer has equalled Bjorn Borg’s record of five consecutive Wimbledon titles. The world No.1 was taken to the brink by Raphael Nadal in a battle for the ages. John Newcombe described it as “one of the best Wimbledon finals we have seen in a long time!”

It was billed as the ‘dream final’, the world’s best two players competing on tennis’ grandest day. It did not disappoint, the momentum swayed and twisted throughout. Federer withstanding the Spaniards onslaught to win in five gruelling sets


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Federer's date with Destiny

July 8th 2007 09:47
Ultimate rivalry
Roger Federer has a date with destiny tonight when he takes on Rafael Nadal in the final of Wimbledon. The ‘artful Roger’ has dominated world tennis like the greats who preceded him and there is much speculation that he will surpass them all.

With victory tonight Federer will equal Bjorn Borg’s record of five straight Wimbledon crowns and firmly cement his position in the history books. The Swiss Maestro has made centre court his home, his office. He is considered practically untouchable on grass and has been rarely pushed in the last five years. To demonstrate his dominance, Roger has conceded a poultry five sets on his way to four consecutive titles. He has only lost one set this year and has breezed into the final with a minimum of fuss


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Swans 89 bt Dockers 61

July 8th 2007 06:05
Milestone; 261st match

The Swans have overcome poor conditions and poor accuracy to defeat a determined Fremantle at the SCG. The game marked a significant milestone for Swans forward Michael O’loughlin who played his 261st match for the red and white’s; the most of any player to don the famous jersey.

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Wallabies 25, Second Stringbox 17

July 7th 2007 12:20
George Gregan
Played his last match in Australia
The Wallabies have sent George Gregan and Stephen Larkham out on a winning note by beating the Springbox at Telstra Stadium.

The so-called second string South Africa bolted to a shock 17 point lead before most of the crowd had found their seats. It was a rude-awakening for the Aussies, who were expected to trample the youngsters from the Box


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Crouching Tiger hidden Panther

July 7th 2007 02:43
Panthers mysterious disappearing act


Leading 20-4 in last night’s clash against the Tigers, it looked like Penrith were putting together a strong performance, one to give their fans hope. However, as is the story of their season, the Panthers went mysteriously missing for over half an hour and the Tigers ran riot, scoring 8 tries to 4 to win 43-26


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Setting a new bar

July 6th 2007 08:39
This site is about to undertake a radical overhaul

It will become a place to debate all the topical issues in sport, from cricket to league; there will be a wide spectrum of controversial issues discussed.
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